She Could Have Been Mine
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: She could have been mine. She would have been in another place and time. Now and then, I go there in my mind. She could've been mine...


Another songfic! This time I used Keith Anderson's She Could Have Been Mine, and the story is kind of AU. Basically Mary didn't marry Mark when she was a kid. I took a few liberties (after watching the season 1 finale and learning about her dad) but everything else is pretty...well... you'll just have to see. LOL. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

IPSIPSIPSIPSIPS

"Mark?"

Mark Stuber looked at his girlfriend. They were sitting on the hood of his car, their fingers linked together. It was her senior year of high school, and graduation was just a week away. They had been together since the end of her junior year, making it the longest relationship Mary had ever been in. She was eighteen, and he was twenty-three. But she didn't care about age. All that mattered was that he cared about her, and she loved him.

"What is it, Mary?"

She turned her head toward him, her blue eyes glittering. "After I graduate…what are we going to do?" Her voice was soft, almost hesitant.

"What do you think we're going to do?"

Mary shrugged, brushing her long blond hair back. "Maybe…we should get married."

The thought of marriage sent a strange surge of panic through him. "Are you pregnant?"

"What? No!"

"Then why would we need to get married?"

Her eyes widened. "Because I love you. People fall in love, and they get married."

"Not all the time," Mark countered, and he flinched at the pain that entered Mary's eyes.

Blinking back the tears, Mary looked away from him. "Are you saying you don't want to get married, or you don't want to marry _me_?"

"I'm saying…" He rubbed the back of his neck. Just what _was _he saying? He was crazy about Mary, but the thought of marriage terrified him. He was still young, and he had tons of things he wanted to do before he settled down for good. "I'm saying I'm not ready for marriage."

Mary fell silent. She was slowly suffocating at home. Mark was her way out. She couldn't take another day trapped with Brandi and Jinx. She just couldn't. And if marrying Mark got her out of there, then that was what she wanted.

He stepped in front of her and gently grasped her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Mary. You know that I care about you. I'm just not ready to be tied down yet."

She shrugged his hands off. "I get it, Mark."

He looked up at the nighttime sky. "I think we should break up."

Her gut clenched, and tears started to roll down her cheeks. She wanted to scream, to yell and curse and make him understand that he was her only way out. But she stood there, trembling and crying like a child.

Kissing her forehead gently, Mark got into the car. "Come on. I'll give you a ride home."

Mary pushed herself off of his car and squared her shoulders. "No. I'll get back by myself."

"Mary, don't be like that…"

"Leave me alone, Mark." Her voice was cold and she struggled to hide her pain.

Sighing, Mark slid into the passenger's seat and started the car. He was already regretting this, but he had to get away. So he pulled away and watched as Mary disappeared slowly in the review mirror.

"I'm sorry, Mary."

_I remember summer 1993_

_She was tall and blond _

_And tan and man_

_She was all in love with me_

_She started talking about our future_

_And it scared me half to death_

_So I ran away, but to this day _

_Her memory takes my breath_

Years later, Mark shot upright in his bed, drenched in sweat and out of breath. It had been one of those nights, when dreams of Mary woke him up every hour. It was almost twenty years later, but the memory of her still haunted him. He had been so young then, so confused and convinced that there were better things in life than getting married and having kids.

How wrong he had been.

If he had only known then what he had, a good woman who loved him and wanted to make a life with him, he never would have let her go. He would have pulled her in closer and given her the entire world.

Slowly he got out of the bed and stumbled into the bathroom, splashing cold water onto his face.

His life wasn't terrible. In fact, many people would say it was pretty damn good. He had a good job that paid well, he had money to do almost anything he wanted, and he dated beautiful women that fell all over themselves for him.

And yet, it wasn't enough.

He closed his eyes, gripping the sink tightly as the memory of Mary's laugh echoed in his ears.

_You should have seen her smile_

_You should have heard her laugh_

_And, oh, the way her eyes would dance_

_When she brushed her hair back_

He knew that he had no right to miss her. He had broken up with her, and if he hadn't been so stupid, he could have gotten her back. But by the time he'd truly realized what he had done, she was long gone. He had even gone to her home to find her, and her mother had given him a disdainful look as she declared that Mary had graduated and gone to school to be a cop or something. Of course she'd had a bottle in her hand, so anything she said couldn't have been taken with more than a grain of salt.

But when Brandi had told him the same thing, he knew that Mary was gone for good.

After a few minutes, Mark finally went back to his bedroom and crawled into the bed.

Why was it that he could only see the truth long after the fact? He'd loved Mary, and he still did. He should have let her go years ago, but he couldn't.

She was his, but she hadn't been for years. And it was his own damn fault.

Sighing, Mark turned onto his side and closed his eyes tightly, hoping that he wouldn't see her face when he finally fell asleep again.

It was a futile hope.

_She could have been mine_

_She would have been, in another place and time_

_And now and then I go there in my mind_

_She would've been_

_She should've been_

_She could've been mine_

The holidays snuck up on him like they always did, and New Year's Eve found him in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He was visiting a friend, and for once, he was in a good mood. He found himself enjoying the festivities and drinks, and a pretty brunette kept glancing over at him from across the room.

He looked into his glass of wine, then took a long drink. It was time that he found someone to settle down with, to start a life with. He wanted children, and he knew that he couldn't keep wasting his time comparing women to the one woman that got away. He would never be truly happy if he kept doing that.

"Mark?"

He froze, and his hair stood on end. That voice… Slowly he turned around, and he found himself looking into stunning blue eyes that haunted his dreams.

Mary smiled at him. "Hey." Stepping forward, she started to hold her arms out to offer a hug, but she stopped midway. Her arms dropped back down to her sides.

Shaking off his shock, Mark closed the distance between them and hugged her awkwardly. "How have you been?" He pulled back and searched her face. She was older and her hair was shorter, but she was just as beautiful as he remembered.

"Good," she replied, smiling kindly at him. "How are you?"

"Me? I'm great." He finished off the wine in his glass.

"I can see that." Mary crossed her arms over her chest, and Mark's heart dipped when he caught a glimpse of a wedding band on her left hand.

_Home for the holidays_

_A friend's party, New Year's Eve_

_I turned around and found_

_Familiar blue eyes staring back at me_

"Mommy!"

Mary's eyes lit up, while Mark was shocked when a little girl came running across the floor. She was no more than four or five, and her long blond hair was pulled back in a braid. She smiled as she took Mary's hand.

"Mommy, who's that man?" she asked curiously.

Mark held his breath.

Mary ran her hand over her daughter's hair. "He's a friend of Mommy's from high school, sweetheart. Say hi."

The little girl giggled bashfully. "Hi."

Smiling, Mary looked at Mark again. "This is my daughter, Norah."

Mark's Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he tried to speak. "She's beautiful," he finally managed.

"Thank you." Mary pulled her daughter closer. "I think I'll keep her."

Norah pushed at her mother's leg. "Mommy!" she scolded.

Laughing, Mary gathered her into her arms and hugged her tight. "You know I'm just kidding, Bug."

Mark couldn't help watching them. Norah was an exact miniature of her mother, from her big blue eyes to the long blond hair. And an ache formed in his heart. Norah could have been his, if he hadn't been such a stupid kid all those years ago.

They could have been his.

_A little girl came running up_

_And took her by the hand_

_And a memory in miniature said_

"_Mommy, who's that man?"_

Norah threw her head back and laughed, her blue eyes dancing as her mother tickled her. "Mommy!"

A tall, lanky man with dark hair and cobalt eyes came up behind Mary and Norah. "What's Mommy doing now?"

"Daddy!" Norah squealed and reached out to him.

With a grin, Marshall took her into his arms and settled her against his chest. Then he looked at Mary and the man she was standing with. "Who's this, Mare?"

Mary leaned up and kissed Marshall. Then she motioned to Mark. "Marshall, this is Mark Stuber. We were…friends in high school. Mark, this is my husband."

Marshall knew the name well enough, but he remained pleasant as he extended his free hand to Mark. "Name's Marshall."

Mark shook his hand hesitantly. "Hey."

"Hey."

After a moment of silence, Norah yawned and rested her head in her daddy's neck.

Marshall grinned. "I think someone's ready for bed."

"Nuh uh!" Norah argued before promptly yawning.

"Yes." Marshall kissed his little girl, then kissed his wife.

Mark shifted uncomfortably, unable to keep the longing out of his eyes.

Norah could have been his little girl.

_You should have seen her little smile_

_You should have heard her little laugh_

_Oh, the way her eyes just danced_

_When she brushed her hair back_

Mary kissed Marshall again, then kissed their daughter. "It's late. Go put her in the car. I'll be there in a minute."

"You sure?" Marshall couldn't help glancing at Mark.

"I'm positive. Besides, I don't want her to be up all night."

"Okay. We'll be in the car." He touched Mary's cheek, then turned to Mark. "It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

Giving Mary a smile, Marshall carried their daughter away.

Mary watched them go, and once they were out of her sight, she turned back to Mark. He looked sad, and she wondered why. "It was great seeing you again, Mark."

"It was good seeing you, too, Mary." Now he knew that she was happy. He had seen it with his own eyes. She hadn't pined for him, the way a small part of him hoped she had.

Stepping closer to him, Mary gently kissed his cheek. "Bye, Mark."

As she backed away, his hand came to rest against where her lips had touched his skin. "Bye, Mary…"

Offering him a soft smile, Mary turned around to follow her husband and daughter.

For a long time, Mark stood there as once again, Mary disappeared from his sight. But this time, he wasn't the one leaving. This time, she was leaving him to rejoin her family. This time, there were no tears. And for her, there were no regrets.

He slowly exhaled, letting his hand fall to his side as he whispered softly.

"I'm sorry, Mary."

Just like last time, she didn't hear him. He knew it was the right thing, and that eventually he would get over her. He would be okay.

And yet, he found himself still wishing that they were his.

_She could have been mine_

_She would have been, in another place and time_

_And now and then I go there in my mind_

_She would've been_

_She should've been_

_She could've been mine_

The End!

A/N: Yay for Marshall and Mary! I like playing with the idea of Norah actually being Marshall's, so don't be surprised if I come up with a few more of these. LOL. Here's hoping they get together before the end! Thanks for reading, and please review!


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